I never had a problem talking about Jack and what happened. I'm proud that he is my son and I want people to know the tragic experience that we went through. I always told people that they can ask me anything and that I will be open about it; they might just see tears and hear me cry. Nowadays when Jack comes up, I still talk about him and what happened but the tears and cries are not as strong. Yes my eyes well up with tears but it's not the same. I feel guilty about that but I know it's the time that has allowed me to talk about it more.
Also found out that the day Jack died, it was my doctor's birthday. A physicians assistant at the office told me they were about to sing him happy birthday when he stopped them from doing so because he was so upset because of me. And he stayed until after 9 PM for my surgery even though he was not on call. I love him as my doctor even more.
I miss you, Jack. And I talk and think about you everyday!
Don't ever feel guilty about your feelings and emotions,they are yours and nobody elses,thinking about you xxx chr
ReplyDelete