Back...

I'm back from my weekend away. I was sad not to have Jack's room right there for me to go in when I needed to be with him but I did have him around my neck so that was nice. Yesterday was 2 months so I took a moment alone and walked away and sat by the lake and talked to Jack. Then a couple friend of a friend showed up with their 8 month old daughter. It was unexpected (it was the first time I ever met them and the friends that know didn't know they were bringing the baby). However, as soon as I saw her, I told Caroline, "I'll be right back". She knew what I had to do. I went to my tent and just lost it. The fact that it was at Rocky Lake where both Sean and I wanted to take Jack to, teach him things there, spend time with him there, have pictures with him there, etc. just made me seeing a baby there lose it. To see a baby there where we pictured Jack so many times, especially on that day, I just couldn't handle it.
Luckily the couple didn't stay the night and alcohol was flowing so other than that, it was a pretty good time. We go back for New Years. I'm actually looking forward to that. But then at the same time, as soon as the clock strikes midnight, I feel like it'll hit me all over again that I will be starting a new year without Jack and back on the infertility train...