Question ???

Will I pregnant again? I wonder that everyday. I see family, I see friends, I see acquaintances, and I see people I don't know that are pregnant. I ask myself why I even get jealous or sad about that. The 9 months I carried Jack were the most amazing months of my life. I remember them vividly and cherish those memories. They are lucky to have that time. And I lost Jack. Oh I guess that is why I feel the way I do. It's hard. VERY VERY hard. I can't express the feelings I have. Not only because I lost Jack, but also because I know I won't get pregnant easily. Don't tell me I might not need "help" getting pregnant. It took us 2 years to get pregnant with Jack so what would ever make me think I would get pregnant easily again? And here is that damn justification that I need to make again... IF I get pregnant again, that baby (who I do not feel I would get attached to until I know he or she is home with me but that's a whole different entry!) will never, ever replace Jack.
I hope (but I do not pray anymore) that I do get pregnant again. I do hope that Sean and I will start a family one day. I know we are parents. I never deny that. But we want to be parents to a take home baby.
Time to go say goodnight to my dead son.