Situations

There are so many situations (especially in public) when I just feel either uncomfortable or I want to scream. Women talk about their pregnancies and even complain of symptoms. Are you kidding?? I would kill to have 9 months with Jack again even if I had to puke everyday and feel the nasty heartburn all over again. Friends talk about their kids and how they deal with situations when it comes to raising them. I feel like I should leave the room in those situations. I just feel uncomfortable. I go to stores and families surround me. I just feel sad and think about Jack and how he is supposed to be with me for me to show him off and for me to just smile again. I go to work (or anywhere for that matter) and people smile and ask "how are you today?" I want to respond: "Fvcking Sh*tty, thanks for asking though" but instead I reply, "good". What a lie. Then there are times like tonight. I go to CVS and a father is playing with his son in the line next to me. He's picking him up and they're laughing and having a loving father/son moment. I approach the cashier who gives the father and son a smile and says to me "isn't that cute?!" I think to myself, yes, ma'am very cute... but DEPRESSING FOR ME! Instead I just give her a smirk and rush the heck out of there so no one sees my tears. I wonder if there will ever be a day that goes by when I'm not put in a situation and I just feel like complete crap.