Some New Year Resolutions

This is thanks to my Loss Board on thebump.com

1. That I will grieve as much and for as long as I feel like grieving, and that I will not let others put a time table on my grief.

2. That I will grieve in whatever way I feel like grieving, and I will ignore those who try to tell me what I should or should not be feeling and how I should or should not be behaving.

3. That I will cry whenever and wherever I feel like crying, and that I will not hold back my tears just because someone else feels I should be "brave" or "getting better" or "healing by now"

4. That I will talk about my child as often as i want to, and that I will not let others turn me off just because they can't deal with their own feelings.

5. That I will not expect family and friends to know how I feel, understanding that one who has not lost a child cannot possibly know how it feels.

6. That I will not blame myself for my child's death, and I will constantly remind myself that I did the best job of parenting I could possibly have done.

7. To know that I am not losing my mind, and I will remind myself that loss of memory, feelings of disorientation, lack of energy and a sense of vulnerability are all normal parts of the grief process.

8. That I will commune with my child at least once a day in whatever way feels comfortable and natural to me, and that I won't feel compelled to explain this communion to others or to justify or even discuss it with them.

9. That I will try to eat, sleep, and exercise everyday in order to give my body strength it will need to help me cope with my grief.

10. To know that I will heal, even though it will take a long time.

11. To let myself heal and not to feel guilty about feeling better.

12. To remind myself that when I find myself slipping back into the old moods of despair and depression, I will tell myself that "slipping backward" is also a normal part to the grief process, and these moods, too, will pass.

13.To try to be happy about something each day, knowing that at first, I may have to force myself to think cheerful thoughts.

14. That I will reach out at times and try to help someone else, knowing that helping others will help me to get over my depression.

15.That I will opt for life, knowing that is what my child would want me to do.