I feel surrounded by pregnant people and babies, pictures of babies, and stories of birth and take home babies. I try to avoid, I try to block it, I try to look away, but I feel like it is everywhere. Close by and far away. All I want is to rewind time and actually bring Jack home with us. Then I can be the one happy again, I can be the one posting pictures everywhere, I can look forward to the holidays instead of dreading them, and I can be happy for all the pregnancies around me instead of sad. I hope to one day bring a baby home with me and be happy again. But I'll always want my little boy who left me way too fast.
Will we even get pregnant again? Will I be happy again? Will I be that person I was 47 days ago? If I do get pregnant again, will I be able to handle it? Will we bring home a healthy baby?
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