The aftermath

I received his ashes. They are in my home and around my neck. I wanted Jack home, but not like this. I want him with me everywhere, but not like this. I want him in my pictures, but not like this.

We planted a tree on Jack's due date, October 15th 2011. It's rainbow eucaplytus in our front yard. I look at it everyday. We released butterflies in his honor as well. Now, every time I see a butterfly, I think Jack is visiting me.

Halloween was so hard. I had Jack's outfit all ready for him for that day. I could not wait! But alas, my first Halloween with him was not as I expected...

My sister took his ashes yesterday to be blessed. I couldn't go. I can't imagine God doing this to me. I can't imagine Jack as an angel instead of my baby. The Monsignor blessed his ashes with prayer then took him to the baptism basin and baptized him. My son's urn full of ashes was baptized. At least his godmother was with him.