Sunday, November 27, 2011
I don't know if it's paranoia, just a feeling, or what, but I wonder if I should be over it and moving on. Maybe I'm too dependent. Maybe I expect more. Tragedy struck but time has passed. I do get the sympathy and "how are you doings?" from people but I get feelings that since everyone else has moved on, I can't be as focused on Jack. Or at least I should keep it to myself. I know no one understands if they haven't been through it. I get that. I know I'm not fun to be around. I know it's the holidays and I'm going to be worse. I don't know. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel anymore. I can't pretend to be ok. It's lonely here. Sorry.
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You are doing really good,NEVER feel bad about anything and certainly NEVER apologize ,it does not matter what other people think,you don't have to pretend things are ok,because they are not,you lost your son,there is no way you could be "over" it.you are grieving and there is no time limit for that...Thinking about you,xxx Christine
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