More time to think...

As I lay in bed, sick, trying to rest and get better, I have plenty more time to think of my Jack, the upcoming dreaded day, and my fear for Samantha's life. I took for granted the days of work when I had my mind preoccupied. Now I just wonder about how things would have been if Jack were here. What kind of baby he'd be. Would he be scared of thunder? Would I be up all night with him? Then I think of mothers day and just want to break down. I want my baby son with me here so I can celebrate that day. Then my fear for my baby girl surrounds me. Will I meet her? Will I hold her alive? She kicks to remind me that she is still with me. I must get better for her sake. I love you, my children. Both of you.