Saturday, March 17, 2012

Hard day

Baby showers and kids birthdays are not my thing anymore. They are super hard and I will now go only if necessary. It's hard to be surrounded by women oohing and ahhing over baby things. It's hard to take part in games that involve anything associated with babies. It's hard to hear stories or predictions of people going into labor. And it's so hard to hear and see the "look how cute" at baby boy outfits. It's hard to be around people who look at me with pathetic eyes because they know I can crack. And I do crack. I did crack. Will I ever be normal again?

And I'm nervous about Monday. I'm nervous about finding out the sex and if seeing if there's anything wrong.

God I just want to be happy and normal again.

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