Sleep

It's been hard to sleep for a while now. Yes I get the sleep I need but now and then I have had the nights where I don't. Thoughts of Jack have stirred me awake. About him being here, reliving that horrible day, or just wishing he was still inside me. Then throughout this pregnancy, heart burn and going to the bathroom have kept me up at night. And of course the thoughts of her not moving and being dead inside me keep me up at night. Now, as time gets closer, I'm losing sleep thinking of the big day. Will everything be ok? What will she be like? Will she be a fussy baby? Will I get to bring her home? Will she be healthy and alive? The questions go on and on... Then I realize if we do bring her home, I won't be sleeping much then either. But for good reason. This count down is just nerve wracking....