The new me

Ever since losing Jack, I have become so different. I don't know if everyone sees it or not. It's mostly mental and emotional. Things set me off easier. My anxiety levels can be crazy. I don't sleep well alone anymore. Friday night, I had to sleep without Sean, and it was just a mess. I need him next to me for the comfort, for the reassurance, and just for the fact that I need to know my husband is still with me. I lost my son, I can't lose Sean too. Unlikely? Maybe, but can you blame me? I am not a normal person when it comes to loss anymore. Expected loss I can handle. Unexpected loss is a different story. Let's just hope that one day soon, I'll have a baby girl next to me. But that will just bring on a whole new fear....