I've been slowly researching things for Samantha's 1st birthday. I don't want to leave anything till last minute. I was looking at invitations and found one I like. What is the name in the sample? Why Jack of course! Is that a sign that I get them? Or is it a reminder that he never gets to have his 1st birthday party? No matter what it meant, it hurt. A friend, not a close friend, but a friend was there for me and quite supportive when we lost Jack found today what she is having. I have been supportive throughout her pregnancy checking in etc so she texted me when she found out. Though I had a very strong feeling it was a boy, she texted me the words and of course I am happy for her, but I just wish I could have my boy too. Her husband wants to be able to do all the outdoor stuff with him etc. I want that for Sean too. And now, I scroll the guide through the TV. Movies are my preference. And what is the name of a movie on the movie channel? Jack. Just plain "Jack". What is it about today? Are you talking to me, my boy? Will there be more signs? I do think of you everyday but on days like this, I think of you so much more. I miss you. I miss being pregnant and happy with you. I miss everything about you. I wish I could rewind time and spend one more second with you.
I love you, Jack, and I miss you.
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