Daddy Daughter Time

I LOVE when Sean takes Sam and does stuff with her. I get to go and run errands or relax or finally take that 15 minute shower instead of a 2 minute one. I also realize how much more I love my husband because he ENJOYS spending time with his daughter. He loves taking her places and showing her off. And I know it will only happen more often as she gets older. But then, there's that scary feeling. The two of them being apart from me could mean me losing the both of them at the same time. I lost my son totally unexpectedly, who's to say it won't happen again? If I don't get a response on the phone or if they're a little later than I would expect, all I can think of is: "is it happening again?" I never want to experience the utter heart ache and pure torture I felt when I lost Jack. I want Samantha to outlive us by 100 years. I want Sean and I to go together holding hands. I don't want to be apart from them even for a second. Dreams. Purely stupid dreams. Just like the hope and dreams I had of meeting my son and being able to hold him alive and breathing in my arms.