Stupid Grey's Anatomy seems to always come back towards me. Not as dramatic, and not with such bad acting, and of course not completely the same. But there are those moments and they bring that feeling in my gut. Meredith Grey saying "this is not how I wanted to do it" when she had to have a C-section to deliver her baby. I scream inside my head... "WHY THE F**K DID I DO A C-SECTION??" I wish I could rewind time and get more care while I was pregnant with Jack. I wish I could rewind time and use a heart monitor on him everyday like I did with Samantha. I wish I could rewind time and monitor his movements a lot more. But if I could rewind time and AT LEAST deliver him naturally, alive or dead, I would. That is another pain in my heart that not only will never go away, but will never subside. It's a regret I will take with me to the grave. It's a regret I will never get over. And it's something that I will never shut up about.
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