Mornings

I woke up this morning and do what I do every morning, look at the monitor screen to see if Samantha is awake. This morning, she was on her belly (which she does from time to time now) and her face was kind of buried into the mattress. My heart stopped. I run to the room to check on her. She's ok. I start imagining the worst again. What would I do if I lost Samantha? I'm so scared I will lose her before I go. I hope and pray that I go before she goes. I can't lose another child. I just can't. And 9 months is not long enough. No time would be long enough, but 9 months is definitely not enough time. I need to cherish more moments and make more memories. Don't take her from me. Please. Jack, please make sure we get to spend as much time as possible with your sister.