Heaviness

I still feel emotionally heavy from Sunday. I don't feel like making an effort. I don't feel like caring. I feel like this 500 pound weight is on my shoulders. I wish there was some way that someone, anyone, could just lift it. Sean and Samantha have taken some weight off but after days like Sunday, I feel it all flooding back. All I do is wish and hope that things worked out differently. That Jack was here with us, that I was still naive and eternally happy, that we had a family of four, and I could go on and on. Wishes really don't come true. Well, I guess some do... I just wish I could feel somewhat normal again.