Work

I don't consider what I do work. I get to be Samantha all day and I get to play with my friend's baby Nathan as well. However, it can get hard at times. Not only because it's two babies only 4 months apart, but because Nathan is a boy. No he's not Jack's age and he doesn't remind me of him. But when I feed him, or dress him, or change his diaper, how can my thoughts not to turn to Jack? I watch him play with Samantha and I think of Jack sometimes. I wish so badly he could be here and be the big brother to her he is supposed to be. I want my son. I want my son here. I still close my eyes shut and wish really hard that all that did not really happen and that I am still pregnant with my son. But I open my eyes, and I see Samantha. It's so hard.