Looks like our connection goes deeper than I thought. I wrote the post earlier and then Sean and I finished a movie. As I turned on the lights next to our tv, I heard Sean start to cry. He lost it. He saw Jack's foot and hand prints and couldn't control the tears. I sometimes forget his pain and I told him that we need to talk about Jack more. He bought Sam toys today. He bought toys for Jack at the same place. He said "he's supposed to be here."
Put yourself in our shoes... We love our son and miss him so much that it hurts to breathe. When we start to cry, we can't stop because we want him here so bad. But then, think. If we had Jack, we wouldn't have Samantha. I couldn't imagine my life without our daughter. We love her more than anything in the world. I watch as Sean looks at her and plays with her and know that he loves her more than anything. But we both are broken hearted because of Jack. How do you handle that kind of pain and happiness at the same time? Needless to say, we will be crying ourselves to sleep tonight.
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