Dad and son

We went out to dinner with Sean's family last night for his mother's birthday. It was nice and of course, everyone was gushing over Samantha. Our nephew was there as well of course. He's four years old. Every time Sean talks to him or plays with him or interacts with him in any way, my heart sinks. I only wish Sean had his son to play with and interact with. I can't wait for Sam to grow up and be daddy's girl. He can teach her things and spend time with her. But there is always going to be Jack missing. Dad's son. Dad's boy that he wanted to teach how to work on cars, how to build things, and take interest in hobbies. It hurts that we don't have our little boy. I do wonder what it would have been like if we had another boy instead of Samantha. Would it have been harder or easier? I would never trade my little girl for anything in the world, and I can only hope we have an amazing mother daughter relationship. But if we had a boy, I just wonder how that would have felt for us.