It's been 6 months since I gave birth to my dead son. It's been 6 months since Sean and I saw Jack and fell in love with him and then he was taken away. I can't believe it's been so long. I should be watching Jack develop into an adorable little boy. Instead I am mourning his death still and crying because I want him in my arms. It kills me, even after 6 months, that Jack is not here with me. It is a pain I can not describe. It is sorrow that compares to no other sadness I have ever felt. And I have felt this pain and sorrow for 6 long, agonizing months. Just wishing and hoping that I could wake up to Jack crying and realize it's all been a bad dream. Instead, I only wake up to a picture of him and his urn.
Jack, my 6 month old baby, I miss you more than words can describe. I wish you were here with us. I wish you could be sitting next to me. I wish you could meet your little sister. I hope you are watching us and knowing how much we miss and love you.
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