As I was driving today, some song came on that reminded me of the time when Sean and I were dealing with infertility. Before Samantha, before Jack... It was such a bumpy road. It was filled with negative signs, tears, and disappointment. I remember how jealous I felt. I was even jealous of my mother's dog who got pregnant. I cried every time my period came because I hoped that THAT would be month that I was finally pregnant. I cried every time I saw a minus sign instead of a plus. I got mad because I became a professional at reading an ovulation stick and calendar. I remember the breaking of my heart when I heard the word of diagnosis: infertile.
It seems so long ago that all this happened and I felt all these feelings. It's such a difficult journey to be on and again, something that I do not wish upon anyone. But our little miracles did happen. After a long and difficult road of infertility, we were blessed with our baby Jack. Our IVF miracle. Our lucky draw. Our beautiful baby boy that we were blessed with after years of trying. That's why I still and will never believe or fathom WHY he would be taken from us. What the heck did Sean and I do to deserve to have him taken from us after we had already been put through hell and back? How is that fair? We struggled so long to finally become pregnant with him, and then poof, he's gone. But now, we are blessed with a beautiful baby girl who I look at everyday and am SO grateful for. I appreciate her every single day. I love seeing her face everyday. I can watch her for hours. She is our miracle baby. I love her so much. 
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