This strong feeling

As I have said before, the feeling of love I have for Samantha is indescribable. But today, the emotion just took over. I looked at her and the feeling of love and pure devotion just took over my entire heart, body, mind, and soul. Yes I am in love Sean. I married him because he is the person I could not imagine living my life without. I married him because I wanted him to be the father of my children. I married him because I fell head over heels in love with him. But the love I feel for Samantha is so extraordinary that I can't put into words like how I can put my love for Sean into words. I chose Sean. I chose to love him. And my love for him has grown ever since. Especially after our children have come into our lives. However, Samantha came into our lives and this absolute feeling of unconditional love that we feel for each other just washed over. I feel sadness on a day to day basis. I have things in my life that stress me out and make me sad and make me wish things would be different. But today, as I looked at Samantha in the eyes, I felt good. I felt this kind of good that I don't feel often. Yes she makes me happy and I am grateful for her everyday. But today, the feeling was stronger than usual. And I liked it. And I am trying not to let myself feel guilty for it. Because poor Jack doesn't get to feel and see me expressing these emotions. Jack doesn't get to experience a mother's love like his sister does. My love for both of them will never die. But I am trying my hardest to accept happiness. I am trying not to let the sadness and guilt get in the way of these amazing feelings of love for Samantha take over. She deserves it. More than I could ever imagine. And I am IN LOVE with her. I want to scream it from the mountains. I want to smother her with kisses and hugs. I tell her over and over again that I love her. I will do this for as long as she lets me!