Daycare

This morning, at 8:30 AM, I dropped Samantha off at daycare for the first time. Yes, I have been through a lot in the past few years. I have seen hell. I have experienced death and heart ache. Yet, today was hard on me. Very, very hard. My baby girl is one year old and it's time for her to be separated from mommy for a few hours a day. And it's time for her to socialize with other children and learn to share. But leaving her there was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Samantha is at my leg asking to be picked up. She is not in my ear saying "mama". She is not completely dependent on ME today. I miss her a lot. I miss having her follow me around. I miss watching her play. I miss hearing her voice. I miss being able to hug and kiss her whenever I want to. And I am watching the clock constantly. I can not wait to pick her up!!! And yet, this is the first of many times that I will cringe and cry because I realize that my baby girl is growing up. It's the first of many times that she will not be with me constantly. And it's the first of many times that I will be leaving her at daycare or at school.

Time to have another one they say. In a perfect world, that would be the situation. I would have 10 if I could. Money is an issue. If you didn't realize, babies and kids cost money. And of course, the main concern... Can Sean and I even have anymore kids? Maybe one day. Maybe in the future. Maybe we will have another miracle. But for now, I am enjoying my daughter. I am still learning. I am still focusing everything I have on her.

Let's just hope these daycare days get easier!!!