Papa

September 20, 2012 10:30 AM My father passed away. I was there. I was holding his hand when he took his last breath. I will never forget that moment. His face, his feel, the rosary in his hand, and that last breath. I whispered about 4 times, "Please go to Jack and say hi" "Please take care of Jack". I hope that there is SOMETHING after this life. I do believe there is, but what if there isn't? I want so badly for my father and Jack to be together. I want to believe that they have met in heaven or where ever and they are together. I hope so much that they are able to spend the rest of eternity with each other and the rest of our deceased family.
My sister was not here. I feel terrible. I wish so badly that she was here. I would have switched with her in a second. She is the one who has been there through thick and thin for my father. She was the one who always by him no matter what. She was the one who flew down at least once a week to make sure he was ok and taken care of. But he waited for me to get there at least. And she was happy that he waited for one of us. I got there at about 10:20 and he was gone by 10:30.
I am grieving. I am very, very sad. I don't know how else to describe how I feel. Yes I am ok. Yes I will survive. But I feel sad and upset and the tears come and go. And I don't want to be alone.