Funeral Home

My sister asked me to go to the funeral home today for the last minute paperwork, the payment, and the picking of the urn. I wanted to be there. My sister asked me to be there. I would not let her go alone. However, sitting in that room, surrounded by coffins and urns, my mind went to Jack right away. Almost a year ago, my friends were at the same funeral home helping me pick an urn for my dead son. Now I was in there picking out one for my father. Almost a year later.... This October, I get to "celebrate" Jack's first birthday in heaven. This October, I get to go to New York and be there for a memorial service for my father on the same day as Jack's due date. On the same day we planted his tree. And on the same day we released butterflies for him. This year has been one hell of a ride. Yes, there were a few ups; one HUGE up, my precious baby girl. But all the downs are what kill me. I feel like I am being punched over and over and over again. But I am trying my hardest to keep getting back up. And now, I have to. For Samantha.