Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time to enjoy family, friends, and yummy food. I like the holiday. I used to really love the holiday. I loved going to Morris and spending time there eating all the great food my aunts would cook. I loved being out there with my cousins just having the time of our innocent lives. I loved spending time in Dunstable. We were so young and naive that the only important thing was getting drunk and having a great time. Those were some of the best times of my life and I miss going there so much. I keep saying how I have to go there, but I really need to actually DO it. After moving to Miami and eventually starting my life with Sean, I spent my Thanksgivings with his family. I do really think they are an amazing family and I do feel lucky to have in laws like them. Now, Thanksgiving is a bit bittersweet. I know I have things I am very thankful for. I listed and described in a previous post. I have such an amazing family that I am honored to be a part of. I have such great childhood memories that I am so grateful for. I have the best support system of friends that I feel so lucky to have. I can only hope that I am as supportive and loving to them as they are to me. I have a husband that still makes me laugh and has picked me up in my darkest times. I have amazing children that have made me the mother I am which is something I have always dreamed about. But Thanksgiving is also a time that brings sadness to my heart and mind. Every holiday, Jack is missing. I am always wishing that he is here with us, but especially during holidays like today, I feel the piece of my heart missing. I get angry and bitter asking the universe how can I be grateful for anything when my son was taken from me. Thanksgiving is now also a memory of my dear, dear father's funeral. This time last year, I was in Poland burying my father. I can't believe it's been a year already and I still can't believe he's gone. I miss him more than I ever thought I would.
But through all the pain and heartache, through all the painful memories, through all the tears, I know I can at least say that do have people and things in my life that I am grateful for.

Thank you.