Good morning, Jack

When Samantha sees me on weekend mornings, she gives me the biggest smile. She is always so excited to see me in the morning. I know part of that has to be Jack. Could he be shining through that gleam in her eye? Could that smile also show me that he's happy too? 

And then as I open the door to let the dogs out butterflies flutter by. I say nice and loud, "good morning, Jack. I wish you were here with us."

Through all the recent constant reminders of my son, I have reconfirmed that the pain and heart ache of losing my son has not left nor has it gotten any easier. I still miss him, I still love him, I still need him, I still cry for him, I still grieve for him. It hasn't gotten easier. It still hurts so much. But I don't want the pain to go away because that is my reminder of him. That's all I have or him other than my memories. I need that pain to stay in my heart forever.