15

October 15....

Jack's due date. I remember being so excited that he would be an October baby. Fall is my favorite season. The holidays would have been coming up. My little pumpkin. But instead, I grieved his loss and had to spend the beautiful fall days crying wishing the my son was with me.

October 15.....

Sean planted the tree for Jack. His tree is 3 years old. It's beautiful. I just wish it was a tree to celebrate his life instead of his death. Now we worry that if we move, we would have to figure out how to take the tree with us or if we would leave it behind. It might just keep us here.

October 15.....

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day worldwide. People around the world light a candle at 7 PM in every time zone to remember babies lost. Just so happens to be the same day as Jack's due date and the day we planted his tree. I think about it and if we did not lose Jack, I would never know. I would be blind to such a pain and such a day. I would be in the dark about it. Sure if I had a glimpse into someone else's world of loss I would feel bad. I would sympathize, but then I would think to myself, that will never happen to me. But instead, I'm part of the statistic and part of this world of baby loss. And I wish no one had to be.