Month of March

March has arrived. The year is already slipping by. Yes, it's only the 3rd month of 2014 but it's already the 3rd month of 2014. I can't believe it. Before we know it, we will be celebrating Samantha's 2nd birthday and Jack's 3rd. I look around and everyone's lives are moving on and moving forward. Our family's life included. But back there, in the back of my mind, in the core of my soul, and in my heart, Jack is always lingering. People don't bring him up as much anymore, Sean and I don't talk about him everyday like we used to, and our lives continue to move on. However, I still belong to that day. October 3, 2011. It's still engrained in my mind and carved into my heart. I'm doing OK. I can say that I lost my son and not cry. When I talk about Jack, my heart warms and my stomach does a little turn but the tears don't fall. But a part of me is still stuck on that day. It will always be where a piece of me remains. That piece of me can NEVER move forward, it can never go towards the future, it can never forget. That piece of me is still sobbing at the sight of a flat line. That piece of me is still in shock. That piece of me still feels the heaviness of my dead baby inside of me.