Conversations

I talked about you the other day. I told the story about you. It's been a while. I haven't talked about it and my emotions that I felt in October of 2011. Tears came to my eyes, but I held them in as much as I could. I talked about my questioning of faith. I talked about how much I needed and wanted you but you were just taken from me with no reason. I talked about how much I regret not birthing you naturally. I talked about how I almost chose not to see your beautiful face. I talked about how I was blessed with your sister soon after losing you. I talked about how it hurt beyond explanation when I lost you. 

I miss you, Jack. I miss talking about you. I even miss the raw emotions I felt almost two years ago. I never wish that to happen again, but I would like to relive the moment of seeing you again. I would like to relive the moment when I felt you inside of me. 

Please know, my son, that you are constantly on my mind and always in my heart. Time has made things easier and I am almost ok, but I miss you just as much as I did back then.