And yet again...

We really can not catch a break in our little family. A week ago, Sean was in the emergency for kidney stones that he has yet to pass. And yesterday evening we rushed to the ER with Samantha because she fell off her slide (a SMALL slide at that) and landed on her arm in a bad way. After MANY X-rays to make sure to get the perfect picture of her elbow, it turns out Samantha broke her arm. My 18 month old daughter now has a bright pink cast on her left arm. Her screams after her fall killed me, her screams at the hospital made me sob. All I did was ask Jack to watch over his baby sister and make sure she was ok. When they said possible surgery, I said to Jack "please not that". Nurses and technicians looked at me crying and were concerned because they had to make her suffer by moving her around for the X-rays. I told them I know they had to, but her cries KILLED me and made me just let tears roll. Sean was amazing and held onto her the entire time helping them with the positions.

I can NOT believe it. I can NOT believe my baby girl has to suffer for 3 weeks in a cast. All I want to do is cry. All I want to do is hold her and tell her it will be ok. All I want to do is turn back time and not take her outside for that one more time before giving her a bath. All I want to do is take the pain away from her and put it on myself.

I just want to go on and not have to have hospital visits or illnesses or deaths. I want some GOOD to continue in my life.