My mind goes down when it comes to my life but then I have happy moments that make me wonder if I'm supposed to smile and have joy. Am I supposed to be sad? My marriage goes down over issues most marriages go through. But then the ups come back and I feel joy. But a part of me wonders if I am supposed to be happy. Should I still continue to feel pain? My relationships with friends falter and I ask myself what is meant to be.
I live my life asking if I am supposed to continue to grieve or if I am supposed to move on. Is there a medium? No matter what happiness I feel in my life, I ask myself if I deserve it because of my loss. No matter how many smiles and good times I go through I wonder if I should feel guilty because my son is not with me to this day. It's so hard to ever be truly happy in any part of my life because Jack is not here......
But no matter what, he is worth every moment, every pain, every question, every emotion.
